let's go meat!

heard coming from the basement of a friend's coworker's house, as the tv broadcasts the olympics:

4-year-old: "A-S-S! A-S-S! A-S-S!"

mom, upstairs: "olivia, what are you saying!"

4-year-old: "i'm cheering for our team, mom! A-S-S! A-S-S!"

mom: "you mean U-S-A?"

4-year-old: "yeah, U-S-A! U-S-A!"

i didn't know the pod people stopped by

but apparently they did and took thing one with them. the facsimile they left in her place was very convincing until this afternoon, when it showed up with the book it had picked out at the school book fair: math machine - a fun new way to do math! it hardly has any words, just a bunch of sliding pieces that move over numbers so you can solve equations.

this cannot be my child.

best birthday present ever

my babies, knowing how little i care for winter, made me "a box of spring" - construction paper violets, peonies, chrysanthemums, roses, tulips, lilies of the valley, daffodils, and tiger lilies.

sweet, sweet babies.

ook

a friend told me yesterday that i don't look a day over 36, and i realized that is a compliment since she shaved 9 years off my age.

when did i become the crypt keeper?

gaaah

it's great my children have active, questioning little minds, but do they have to be active and questioning so early in the morning?

thing two likes to start the day with a question-and-answer period. today's topic - at 4:53 a.m. - "what did people do before they had electricity?"

well, that helps take the sting out of turning 45

from my in-laws: $100 and a flask.

i like my husband's people.

the new math

so, if edy's slow churned ice cream has 100 calories per serving, and there are 12 servings in the carton, and you can lose weight by limiting yourself to 1,200 calories a day, then if i eat nothing but ice cream, i'll lose weight.

i see no flaw in this reasoning.

my children are weird

"mommy, can we watch antiques roadshow?"

"um, sure."

"yay!"

four-year-old logic

getting ready to head to preschool this morning, i piled thing two's winter gear by the back door and asked her to put it on while i threw on my walking clothes. when i got back to the kitchen, there she was, all bundled up.

as i walked to the door to leave, i caught a glimpse of thing two's bedroom...with her skirt laid neatly on the bed. when i asked her what was going on, she said proudly, "i took my skirt off so it wouldn't get bunched up in my snow pants!"

why do you hate the baby? installment no. 316

here's a name from a church bulletin, announcing the joyous arrival of...tennyson yosemite.

sigh.

dogs, people. this is why you get dogs. or cats. or hamsters. or start an indie band. you don't inflict something like this on a human being.

that kid is so changing his name to john someday.