Thursday, September 30, 2010

public service announcements

psa 1: gentlemen, when you choose to run around the lake - and bully for you, getting some cardio in - please do not cap off your workout by dropping to the grassy median between the paths and doing bicycle-style sit-ups in your short shorts. please.

psa 2: apparently one of the calvin klein underwear models is doing some construction work on a house in south minneapolis today. ladies, you might want to swing by 49th and logan: kind of a young brad pitt-matt damon thing going on there.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

things my five-year-old asks me at bedtime

  • what's a counselor?
  • when you tie your shoe, what do you do after you make the bunny ear loop?
  • what are the lines in your hand for?
go. to. sleep.

Friday, September 24, 2010

why do you hate the baby? installment no. 820

at my daughter's school, twins johnny and...messiah.

i am not making this up; i'm looking at the school directory right now.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

why do you hate the baby? installment no. 819

here are the names of some of the children at swim lessons yesterday: heinz (medium-bad). serenity. and...zen.

i so wish i could be there when those parents yell at their children. "goddammit zen, i said to get your shoes on!" or, in a nod to seinfeld, "serenity, now!"

Monday, September 13, 2010

it is good to turn 5

and eat cupcake batter in your elmo undies.