attention new recruits

the following is the official mom wardrobe for spring/summer 2008, as evidenced by scientific research (meaning what i and every other woman on every playground i've been to are wearing):

• cargo pants, preferably dark or drab color to hide dirt (though i do have an orange pair, too!)
  
• sturdy t-shirt, possibly with cute/snarky words and images
• zip-front hoodie sweatshirt
  
• ankle-high socks
• easily removed tennies (slip ons, velcro, etc.)
  
• sunglasses
  
• hat (optional; depends on if you're still trying to con your kids into wearing them)
  

this is the only sanctioned uniform. however, exceptions may be made for flip-flops, head scarves, and cargo shorts. 

please note that this wardrobe works equally well for dads, though their tees tend to favor college/sports/beer logos. other than than, we look like the stepford p.t.a.

and on a related mommying note – to the 6-foot-tall, disastrously pregnant amazon i saw emerging from a mini cooper at target:  sweetie, i admire your perseverance, but it's time to trade in for a minivan, or at least something that's not a clown car.  you're going to need the jaws of life to pry you out of your vehicle in about, oh, two days. tops.