call me jenny einstein

i recently read about absolute zero in smithsonian magazine. absolute zero is the coldest conceivable temperature known to physicists:  minus 459.67 degrees. one scientist experimenting with a contraption to approach absolute zero has managed to stop light, which normally travels about a gazillion (ok, 186,171) miles per second. she likens it to "hurling a baseball into a pillow."

i think i unwittingly conducted a similar experiment today, but instead of using a maze with tiny mirrors and laser beams, i used a crabby toddler and a grocery store. 

said toddler wept and whined during the entire journey: into the store, up the aisles, down the aisles, through checkout and bagging, and back into the minivan. this caused time to slow down until it ground to a complete standstill at precisely 10:17 a.m. i know because that is when i began to feel my brains leaking out of my ears; you remember a thing like that.

i may not be a crack scientist, but i came away from this experiment having gained precious knowledge:  never shop with your children if you value the precarious time-space-sanity continuum known as motherhood.